So where have I been? What the heck’s been going on? Where do I start! Frankly the last couple of months have been a crazy whirlwind of stuff…
We Went to Uruguay!
I was able to take my whole family on a mission trip to Uruguay for the whole month of July. Yes, even our 9 year old and 4 year old! What a huge blessing this was to our family! I’ll save the details for another time, but I’ll just say God was good, we saw clear reasons we were supposed to be there, and the experience left a profound impact on all of us.
My Little Girl Went Under the Knife!
We returned home from Uruguay to our youngest daughter Kelsey (age 4) needing kidney surgery. She’s had kidney reflux for a while now and we knew surgery was a possibility, but the suddenness of it all still just kind of threw us for a loop. I’m sure you can imagine it was just so, so sad to see her like that! But thankfully she’s really back at 100% now and doing just great!
I Got Funky!
Returning from Uruguay I found myself in this strange, funky mix of feeling inspired and exhilarated by our experience, and at the same time oddly unfocused and unmotivated, and really struggling to force myself to work (which is very unlike me). It’s even made me question what I’m supposed to be doing at all. I mean real mess-with-your-head type stuff.
My Dad Got an Air Head!
The short story is this: I got an unexpected call from my sis after church last Sunday that my Dad was in the ICU in his hometown of Columbia, SC. Apparently with a sudden and severe brain injury due to a badly broken nose, which started seeping tons of air into his brain and spinal fluid started leaking out. Now he’s in just a heap of pain, and the hospital’s still trying to sort out what to do.
So that’s the roller coaster we’ve been on these last couple of months, and why you haven’t heard from me in so long. Today I’m sitting in room 849 beside my poor Dad, just being here with him as he battles through this. I’ve been here since last Sunday and I’m not sure how much longer I’ll be here. Time will tell.
Which brings me to two important things I want to share with you…
First, Regarding My Dad…
Frankly I’d really covet your warm thoughts and prayers for my him.
Imagine like the worst migraine you could possibly think of — times ten — nonstop. Big doses of morphine and Vicodin are just enough to get him temporarily to a 6 or 7 on the 10 point pain scale, and really for only an hour or so. It really just sucks to see him in this much nonstop pain, and to still not have any solid answers on what’s next.
He seems to be slowly improving, but we’re far from being out of the woods. There’s still a half dozen different things that could go wrong at any time. The guy’s only 62 and has a lot of life left him him.
So I know this email reaches people of many faiths, but if you’re the praying kind, I humbly ask you to please offer up a prayer for him. His name is David Moses. AND THANK YOU.
Regarding My Personal Funk…
Can I continue with the vulnerability for a moment?
As mentioned, I returned from Uruguay simultaneously exhilarated and inspired by the whole experience, and also flat out unmotivated, totally unfocused, and baffled by feeling this way. I’m not a lazy bones – just ask my wife! But I’ve felt stuck in the mud of uncertainty, and really struggled to get much done. A tough, weird, and challenging place to be sure.
But I’m happy to say, I’ve started to turn a corner…
All this time in hospitals lately has given me a lot of time to think…to ponder…and to really wrestle with all this. And all this time in my own head, plus some heartfelt counsel with my lovely wife, my pastor, some close friends and even those crazy FLIP VIPs cats, I believe I’ve come to a welcome, albiet sobering realization…
“I’m Seriously Lacking a Specific, Clear Life Vision”
And I’m now convinced this is the core issue underlying this crazy funk I’ve found myself in.
Now hang with me here…
It’s kind of a weird concept, this “life vision” thing. But trust me — once you start to get it, the light bulb goes on and you realize just how huge it really is. Let me explain, and see how this resonates with you…
Here’s how my buddies Steve Cook and Shaun McCloskey (of Lifeonaire) aptly put it…
“With Lifeonaire, we teach people how to come up with a vision for their lives. Having a vision might sound a little bit foo foo and even complicated, but it really doesn’t have to be. In essence it just means knowing exactly what you want life to look like. It means deciding and planning your outcome in advance rather than waiting and responding to whatever happens to show up each day.”
“I speak with far too many people who find themselves waking up one day asking themselves, ‘How did I get here?’ Sadly most people spend more time planning a weekend vacation than they do planning the rest of their lives. They simply let life happen and end up wondering why they’re not very satisfied with the results. But the most truly fulfilled people I know didn’t just get there by accident.”
So there is is…and this is exactly what I’ve been facing head-on lately. And it’s forcing me to wrestle with some really tough questions. Questions I thought I already knew easy answers to, but I’m realizing now how sadly mistaken I was.
I started at first slugging it out with questions like:
- What will it take to get me excited & motivated again?
- Am I really doing what I’m made to do?
- What is it that truly brings me the most fulfillment?
- Am I doing what am I best at? And what I’m really most passionate about?
- What do I do that brings others the most value, satisfaction and joy?
- What’s my real motivation for doing it all anyways?
And man, them are some tough questions! But that was just a starting point. As I’ve continued trekking through the vision crafting forest, I’m pressing into questions like:
- What are the things that are really most important to me in life?
- Does my life truly reflect that these are most important to me? (Youch!)
- What do I want to be most remembered for?
- If I could write my own eulogy, what would I want it to say?
- What experiences in my life have brought me the most joy? Real, lasting joy that I can still experience today when I think of them?
- At my core, what is it I will need to do in order to truly win the game of life? (Hint: having the biggest bag of money is not the right answer)
Ouch! Clearly these are gut-check questions dealing with a heck of a lot more than MONEY. They deal with your MISSION. Your CALLING. Your SWEET SPOT. And ultimately finding and fulfilling your PURPOSE in life.
“So What’s the Point?”
Ha, I’m so glad you asked! 😉
Well I’m still working through this process at the moment. Things are getting clearer for me, but I’ve still got work to do. More questions (beyond those above) are still to be answered. And to be really honest it’s kind of painful, but also exhilarating, inspiring, re-focusing and inspiring at the same time.
But I’m sharing this with you for two reasons:
First…
…This process will absolutely craft the shape of things to come from me. Including REI Tips, real estate, family time, church, friends, service opportunities, and everything else I do.
Once my vision is crafted, rebooting myself will become an exciting process of refocusing myself on exactly what it will take to get me there. Which will mean saying “Yes” to many things and “No” to many others, with crystal clarity of how they will and won’t help me accomplish my vision. (Yesssssss….)
Secondly…
…I’m inviting you…no, I’M CHALLENGING YOU to delve into this process for yourself!
Look, I’ve a feeling more than a few others can relate to all this. And if this stirs anything within you, don’t ignore it!
Don’t be Afraid to Wrestle with the Tough Questions
Yes, these are questions that really rattle your cage and mess with your mind…in the best possible way. Questions that force you to clarify who you really are, what you really care about, what you’re really made to do, and whether or not you’re really accomplishing it.
These are very good questions, well worth wrestling with. And within the honest answers I’m convinced you’ll discover what true fulfillment and ultimate success really look like — for you.
So what say you? Are you up for the challenge? Anyone else stirred up? Convicted? Alarmed? Confused? 😉
Do This…
Start by taking some time to seriously ponder the questions I’ve posted above. Do it on paper, not just in your head. And plan on investing at least 30 minutes up to a couple of hours. And if you’re really serious, consider a larger paradigm shift. Consider becoming a Lifeonaire.
Also, here are some other vision-related articles I really found helpful…and you may as well…
- “What’s Your Vision?”
- “Life: Define it Backwards, Live it Forwards”
- “What You ‘See’ is What You’ll Get”
And Do This…
As always I welcome and appreciate your comments. Please share what you think about all this below!
Thanks for listening and caring…
PS – UPDATE ON MY DAD…
Thanks again for keeping my Dad in your warm thoughts and prayers. I’m happy to report he’s been released from the hospital and is doing much, much better now. The air that’s been pressing on his brain seems to have finally been reabsorbed by his body, and spinal fluid no longer seems to be leaking. His head’s still hurting pretty bad, but not nearly on the super-migraine level it was for a week plus. He’sstill likely got another 2-3 weeks of bad headaches ahead, but all things considered, we’re feeling very good right now.
I’ll be honest – I came to Columbia with funeral clothes packed. We weren’t sure he’d make it. But God’s done his thing and verified this 62 year old cat still has the best of times ahead of him!
Hear me when I say THANK YOU for your warm thoughts and prayers during this last week and a half. THEY’VE BEEN FELT, and mean more than you know. What an honor to have a community of folks to lean on when life throws tough crap at you like this.
Now…back to working on my vision… 🙂
Wild JP – perfect timing for you writing this – I’m proud that you shared this with your community! Guess what? I’ve been battling your exact battle for the last few months, and I have shared with very few people about it. I sure didn’t write a blog post about it – Why not? Because as we get further along in life, we feel like we’re supposed to have it all together (at least I do!) – but we definitely don’t, and I’m learning that’s ok if we don’t – and also that other people are probably in the same boat. At least I would rather this pressure of growth rather than a smooth road to nowhere special. Thanks for the challenge – I’m here with you
I hear ya, man. I thought more than twice about whether or not I should post something like this. And truth be told, this one little blog post took me huge chunks of nearly 3 days to write – a record even for me! But in the end, one of the things I really want to be remembered for (from the list of questions above) is being an authentic, real guy, who’s not afraid to be who I really am around anyone, no matter what they may think. And if authenticity is truly such a core value, then I can’t be afraid to be vulnerable in front of people…which is a big part of the reason I’m laying it out there like this.
So hey…here we are, you and I…open and honest about NOT having it all together. Admitting that we’re (gasp) only human!…And that we still have plenty of room for figuring out what we really want our lives to look like. Who’s with us???
Oh, and I love your pressure of growth vs smooth road to nowhere special analogy. So true!
JP,
Thanks for sharing all of this. I really helps to put things in perspective. I have prayed for your father and your family.
God bless,
H. Matlock
JP,
My prayers are with you, your dad and your whole family.
About 2 years ago I went through a pretty big ordeal. In fact, it rocked my world in many ways. I made bad decisions and was feeling a bit lost along the journey. Then God gave me some very clear directions on a turn-around that I took to heart. First, I was felt God tell me to put myself in the right environment to find solutions I was seeking. Now looking back at this, it was obvious I was not doing that. But at the time I was in my “muck” I couldn’t see the forest from the trees. I basically was looking for answers in all the WRONG places. I wasn’t immersing myself in healthy environments and thus it was easier to slide further into bad decision making. The second thing I felt God tell me to do was: “Expect Something to Happen”. And not BAD things to happen, but Good ones. It’s crazy how Satan (our spiritual enemy as Christians) can play a negative recording loop in our head. But God clearly asked me “Who is telling you all this negative crap??… Is it me??” And the obvious answers was “No”. Then it became clear to me that Satan’s mission was to steal my hope and destroy my joy. The last thing was “Get Up and do MY Part”. It’s too easy as Christians to say “of it’s it’s God will that I do “x” and “y” then let it happen. I’ll just sit here on the couch and pray and pray. Nope. God clearly said “If you will do what you can do (my part), I (God) will do what I can do”. The message was clear. I needed to “Do MY Part” and meet God halfway.
I hope this rather long response encourages you. I have felt God move in my life more today than ever before. He has brought me a life partner that has aligned visions with me and we work on 12 areas of our life very frequently. I’m thankful God has brought so many opportunities to me.
At age 35, I feel I’m only on this earth to be a manager and a seed planter. It’s often not my job to “water those seeds” and I don’t have to take on the world or “build Rome in a day” to feel significant and useful for Him.
I think you just need to focus on one area of business that you find most rewarding and start pushing foward with it. God will do His part to meet you halfway. Don’t give up bro. God has some incredible things in store for your life.
Remember… be a servant,
Cory
Manny/California
Revival ??? JohnPaul-my story is this, I went to Israel, came back and havn’t worked yet ! That was in March of 2008. I’ve been trying to become this Real Estate Investor since 2006/2007 and have not done one deal. I have each of those same questions in my heart as well. As for your father-he is blessed to have a son who honors him. You are a great person, by the story you have shared. I’ve been reading this book called “the Treasure Principle” – it said ” Giving is doing what we were made for, giving boldly affirms Christ’s lordship. It is a blessed act that leads to joy. Acts 20:35. Sorry about that -im a spiritual man.
I’ll be praying for you father, his name will even be up on the screen at my men’s ministry class evry Thurs. night till i hear different.
I don’t have great things to give, but i give all i can. I think this might be some food for thought for you.???
Please keep us posted-it sounds like something exciting is going to pop from you !
Lord Bless you and yours.
JP,
Wow, this was very very deep. Your family is in my prayers. It’s as if your trip to Uruguay caused an awakening, it’s as if the Lord is trying to move you to the next level. You have grown in your spiritual walk and you have had some trials and you have overcome. The devil knows the Lord has a plan for you, thererfore he has tried to throw some bumps and lumps along the way…keep pressing on and with Christ you will accomplish all of your desires. Be blessed and embrace each and every day.
Thanks for sharing. I can relate.
Amelia H.
Hi, Manny – thanks so much for your kind and thoughtful words, and for your prayers for my Dad. I’ll definitely keep you in the loop as I continue moving into this vision thing!
Thanks so much, H! (Matlock?) (Andy Griffith?) 😉
Thanks, Amelia! Very good words, and well received. I also really appreciate your prayers – we’ll take ‘em! 🙂
Hey, my friend. Man it’s been so great to know you over these last few years. And I’m pretty sure I know the big ordeal you’re talking about that you went through. Yes, it rocked your world to say the least. You got drug through the fire…but it was truly a refining fire. And it’s just so awesome to see and hear what God’s done in you since that time.
Thanks so much for your encouraging words. I hear ya. And you’re right on spot with where I am right now. I especially love “Expect something to happen” – SO, SO TRUE!
I really appreciate all that you shared. I know it comes right from your heart to mine, and it means a ton.
…jp
PS – We should get together again sometime soon, brother. I always enjoy hanging with you. You sharpen me. And also you’re easy to laugh at. 😉
Nice post JP! Great questions to ask ourselves!
JP,
When you add up all your stress points, you’re over the top! Stress taking your family to Uruguay and watching over them, stress with your daughter, stress with your dad that you are still in the midst of. As you look at what your vision is, take time to rest, heal, be with your dad. Energy will come again, but it will take awhile.
Later take a look at the Strengths Quest test you can take online to see what your natural strengths turn out to be. It is pretty accurate, and will help you sort out where to go. But before there is any going and sorting everything out, take time and do some fun things to heal after your dad is on the road to getting better.
There is nothing unusual about no motivation at this time; rather normal to feel like that right now.
It’s ok to chill out awhile. It’s ok to trust in the Lord’s ability to get through to you rather than your ability to figure it all out.
….my 2 cents
JP, You know I love you and I can clearly see something extraordinary in you that is just eager to bust out and show the world how much you have to contribute. You just need to get off of that circular winding road that you’ve been traveling on and come up with a clear path. Once you do, everyone needs to just look out!
I’ve been continuing to pray for your family- I hope they are all well!
Blessings,
Steve
Jp…I once heard that we come into people’s lives when they are experiencing something profound and sad and we help to try and minimize that pain….hopefully all of us together, through prayer and love, can assist you and your family through this. And since you have always been the cheerleader for so many people, maybe this revelation (as horrible as it is) is to serve as a wake up call to everyone that you have touched as well. God Bless and Much Love….Briana
Very Inspiring Post JP…I have been on a similar journey myself and its a amazing how it will change your life forever… My prayers go out to you and your family! Wish you guys all the best!
(I’ve got goosebumps while writing this) So I just finished renovating my personal house. After being at the office until late last night I got home and unpacked a few things. One of them was a book that I read while in college (about 7 years ago, but have hung on to it) – same author of Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff – only this book is called “You Can Be Happy No Matter What” – http://www.amazon.com/You-Can-Happy-Matter-What/dp/1577310640 – I began reading last night – personally transforming for me thus far – I’ve had less than 5 of these moments in my life – some call it a simple coincidence – I myself, GodSent – Talk Soon.
JP, thanks for the post and inspiration you always provide. Maybe with all that is going on, this is the universe giving you a moment to pause and reflect so you will find the next right step. I think sometimes we are all in such a hurry to get to the next ‘thing on our list’ that we miss the path we really need to take to find a more fulfilling life. I know when my own dad’s life was at risk, everything stopped. It led me down a new path in life, one that continues to evolve today – some five years later. I pray you are led to the real message, to the real path soon. Just be alert and looking, and it will come. I also pray for your father’s recovery and good health.
Thanks so much, Deb. You’re right, moving on to the next thing in front of you is just so much easier than stopping long enough to really evaluate the big picture and how each step is or isn’t congruent with where you want to end up. Right now I’m being forced to do it…and while it’s uncomfortable, I’m thankful. I need it.
Thanks, Briana. Right now I’m actually thankful for the uncomfortableness of it…b/c that’s what’s forced me to actually stop, re-evaluate and take the time to get serious about a vision. I’ve known I’ve needed to for a long time, but it was just too easy to keep putting it off…until (right now) when I suddenly can’t avoid it. Thanks for your encouragement.
Thanks, brother. Means a ton. You already know how integral you’ve been in this process. THANK YOU.
You’re right, Ginny…TONS of stress points going on right now. But I’m thankful they’re forcing me to a place of real introspection and towards growth in ways I’ve been putting off for far too long. Rest assured, I am “chilling for a while” cause I kind of have to…and that’s what’s creating the space to work this stuff out. Thanks for your encouraging words!
Awesome. Sounds like a great read. I’ll check it out – thanks, man! (I don’t have goosebumps while writing this…but I’m relating to your goosebumps 🙂
Powerful post JP. My prayers are with you and your dad. You’re struggling with some really serious life questions.
Praying for your family and most important you! My mom passed from cancer a year ago August 31st, my stepdad was just told he has lung cancer, my dad is 82 and moving slower each day it seems. I have been unemployed now going on two years and trying to make my real estate dreams a success! I question myself everyday, how am i going to keep going and find money for deals, or do i go back to making a wage instead of profits? All these life events can and will take a toll and will either make you question your purpose or add fuel and drive to work harder…. Interesting how when we are doing good and the bills are paid how we lose focus and take life for granted – then we get hit with challenges! I say look for the good in everything and make it work in your favor. Pay attention to what is important and refocus with a passion as if tomorrow is the last day to make a change or life will decide for you what the change will be…. You have helped me in so many ways to stay positive, I only wish the best for you and whatever path you take I am sure you will be great at it! Just don’t let the challenges decide your path, it might be a wrong turn. Refocus, retool, recharge, return! As you see you have many friends who care and need you as much as you need us…. All the best….
Hi JP, This blog post is a great example of the power of words. I don’t know you personally, although through your writing and all the other ways you reach out to the REI community, I feel like I do. You have a gift to draw people in and make us want to know what you think about something. Like I said, there’s great power in words. And great influence. Your communication is always so real, so honest and so unpretentious. What a great thing, for you to share (yourself) in this post. It is real as it gets, and I doubt there’s even one among us that can’t relate to where you’re at. I liken these times in my own life to “growing pains”. So to me, it’s all good, even if it doesn’t feel like it now. Yea, easy for me to say, right? Sounds like God is “up to something” in your life, and now…He’s got your attention. Like I said – “all good”. Usually when going through times like this, sometime after I freak out a bit, I get excited. Because I know I’m on the edge of something real and personal, straight from the big Guy Himself. I call them “kisses from the Lord”. Those moments when He takes your face in His hands and says, “this is just for you”. Now that’ll give you goosebumps. If I could say one thing to you, I’d say “Relax, and just pay attention”. He could be taking you someplace new, or refining something in you so you’ll be more _________ (you fill in the blank). I do know it’s a faith journey – whatever other form it takes, it’s usually less about us and our plan and purpose, and way more about His plan and purpose. I hope that you’ll keep using your gift of communication though. For selfish reasons, I must admit. I miss hearing from you when you’re gone. I will be praying for you and your family. That God would place His hand on each one of you and station His angels all around you for protection, as you move forward to the next step that He lights on your path. Thanks for sharing 🙂 .
Thanks. Thanks for the encouragement. 🙂
Brenda…wow. I’m humbled. And your words are very warmly received. It means a lot to know folks value what I’ve been putting out there. In fact, as I’ve been carving out my core values during this process, I’ve realized that right near the very top is building value into people’s lives. I find incredible fulfillment from helping to create experiences and environments from which people draw great value. Said another way, I really enjoy sharpening people. So to hear what you’ve shared resonates highly with me.
Thanks so much for taking the time to share your thoughts.
From Uruguay… Yes… I think we have been living a twin reality during the month of August, my friend! Both the down, the up, and the re-centering.
Hmmmmmm…I’d love to hear more, brother. Let’s talk soon. Love ya.
Really glad to hear your father is back home and recovering! Will continue to keep him in prayer for total restoration. Speaking of Visioneering….Pastor Andy Stanley has a really awesome book by this title that I highly recommend…it’s called Visioneering: God’s Blueprint for Developing and Maintaining Vision. Anyway, I wish you the best as you’re asking, seeking and finding 🙂
Thanks so much, Shae! I’ll check that book out – I love Andy Stanley!
Me too – I read it for the first time early last year (and did a lot of highlighting!) and plan to read it again this year. If you read it I’d love to get your thoughts on it afterwards.
Hi JP… It has been a while since we last talked, and much of what you shared resonated with me on many levels. The first being, I could be your dad, because I’ll be turning 63 in October, and secondly, lifes trials, and tribulations are not a respecter of age – just ask your dad…:-) lol I did pray for David and was relieved to get word that he is doing better and will continue to pray for him, as well as for you, your little girl and rest of the family… You have been and will most likely continue to experience the Forest Gump life of chocolates, but I’m sure God who is at work in you will continue faithfully until His purpose is fulfilled in you. Just remain faithful to Him my friend and it will all come to pass…I somehow think getting answers to our questions isn’t as important as learning to persevere in over-coming the unplanned circumstances that come our way. In so doing we admit that it is God who directs our steps – even when we attempt to do our best at mapping out our lives. I think it has something to do with that ‘control issue’ that most humans struggle with…:-)
Just keep doing your ‘utmost for the highest’,
Paul
Thanks so much, Paul, for your encouragement. And you’re so totally right…a man makes his plans, but it is God who directs his steps. I truly believe that. So when I thought we might lose my dad, I was scared, but also knowing that God’s timing is ideal, whenever that maybe. Admittedly I’m just glad his timing wasn’t now. 🙂
Thanks again, man…great to hear from you.
Hi JP,
First of all, prayers for your entire family!
Having gone through a similar ordeal a couple years ago I can tell you that you will be better having gone through this vision exercise than not. If you think about most people, they are on auto pilot just doing whatever they have to in order to survive and “get by.” I hear more and more people say in their 40’s and 50’s that they still don’t know what they want to be when they grow up. It makes you chuckle but it’s also a sad statement to think about.
Knowing the gifts and talents you’ve been blessed with and figuring out how you can best use them is one of our missions, if you will. To sit quietly and determine that is a spiritual exercise that everyone should go through. Then, having the courage to act on the realizations is huge!
I believe that once you go through the processes you will feel a sense of peace like no other. You will also have a positive impact on many more people and you will change lives. It’s difficult and frustrating while you’re experiencing, but you will be better in the end.
God Bless you and your family!
Cortney
Thank you Jp for posting this for me 😉 I have several irons in the fire that all have to do with finding the vision and breaking down the steps, working backwards, living forward stuff. I’m working on it quite a bit. Sometimes when a person gives and helps others, it seems ‘not right’ to want for one’s self. It’s difficult to define what I want my life to look like, because that means I wouldn’t be there for those that I am helping. So far the cost has been pretty high to try to create my ideal life, I’m not sure what the end cost will be. So, I pretty much have stalled because I’m not sure I could afford it. I’ve read over the comments. I like what you said about being authentic and vulnerable. So, with that said, I can’t focus on what i want without feeling selfish. I can’t define my strenghts if i feel like a failure. I know what I “like” and plan on taking the strengths quest test and see where that leads me.
I pray for your Dad. I’m glad things are getting better for him.
Thanks so much, Cortney. Very encouraging. Very. Much appreciated.